To count money

I have sometimes the feeling of being guilty when I surf the net for it will cost me or my mom or my sister some money in order to take advantage of this privelege. I've been out of work for some time but this is the only time that I became so conscious about not having money. Sometimes it would take you years to apply for a job. Very frustrating. I am counting the money that I spend for internet while I think that I have a grandma whom I cannot help because I do not have a job. We are not rich and so is my grandma but I know in her own way she is rich, I just wanted to help her. I could not afford so many things in this world that I wonder is it ever fair. All they could do it to give me a chance why don't they do that? Is it so hard to give a small share of the pie to somebody who is hungry? Sometimes the world is really unfair. The rich could talk about billions of money while the poor have only their daily needs. It is so unfair. I was wondering where the jobs go in this world. To the graduates? What if you don't have a college degree? I just wish for a miracle to happen in this world. Where everybody gets a fair share of the blessings that abound from God.

Sometimes my friends maybe wondering why I don't go out to the gimiks anymore. I just count the money. Today, you gotta have at least a thousand in your pocket when you go out. And to us, to me and to my mom that's already two weeks worth of food. So alas, I couldn't go. Just praying that I'll have a job so that I can help me and my family.

Henry Sy and John Gokongwei were some of my idols. They started a poor fellows and now they own some of the big businesses in the country. I dream that I can be like them. I was wondering how they did it. They must have dirtied their hands and met up with people and sold their stuffs and used their minds to build up their businesses the way they have achieved now.

I got to imitate them and somehow do what they did so that I could count plenty of money in the future under my name and accomplishments. I gotta start now. Somehow, I feel I have wasted my 10 or 12 years of not working but then I grew up and the experiences I have had during those times contributed to who I am now and how I live today. I have some idea on how to start on something today but I am learning about it everyday for money making has been a challenge for me. Maybe there's a block like for example I hate accounting and I felt it has followed me all these years in every move I make in jobs or business what I think was a lesser choice of having taken up accounting as a college course. Sometimes, I wish I had shifted to MassCom or Business Management and graduated earlier so that I could focus on working early on. You see I am motivated to work only nobody gives me a chance. Anyway, I believe that in the end all will work out and that the world or God works for justice and that everything will follow through if not today maybe tomorrow, I still hope.