What will make you happy?

Sometimes, you go on in life and it's as if there is something missing. I guess, you just have to involve yourself in the lives of other people around you. There are so many people around the world, if only you could love them all and share your self with them and God's love you will not be lonely anymore.

I have this dream that I am not working on and it seems like this is the missing link. I am not an actress and an athlete because I have decided not to go for them anymore, not now.

But it seems like my happiness is totally dependent on achieving my dreams. I have not achieved these two dreams and that is why I am wondering maybe they are truly the missing link in my life.

I've had broken dreams before like not being able to study law and not being able to study medicine and I thought I would be able to do that. But unfortunately, as I have already said in my blog, I think I don't have the skill to make money so i couldn't afford a medical education and cannot be a doctor.

Before I used to think that anything that I put my heart and mind to I'll be able to achieve but now it seems impossible and that is why I am at a loss.

All I could think of right now is to have a job so that my life will move forward already, coz it had been stuck at least that's the way i feel it for the longest time.

That's why I have this blog.

So that I can celebrate being myself, being me.

And hoping that I meet friends along the way.

What's your passion?

I have yet to discover mine, but if things are just right then maybe my passion is writing, communication arts, acting, showbiz, advertising, films, videos, people in life, magazines, books, media, internet, communication. That's my big thing.

And then, there's business.

And then, there's religion.

Making each day count

What do successful people do with their lives, their time on earth? For some people, it is easy for them to achieve the things that they achieve. God blesses them or is in partnership with them in their dreams. I have been unemployed for so long, I am sometimes asking myself where have all the years gone? It is not my own doing that I am unemployed now, well maybe partly because I declined 4 job offers. But those were honest mistakes, honest experiences which I am proud of to be my decisions and I have never stopped finding opportunities for me to work. It is just unfortunate that people are hard to believe, to trust in a crummy resume that I have that only states 2 or so years of experience in my total of 15 years of being a graduate from college. What do you do if one day totally depend on you for some money? I realize I am not able to reach out to other people or enrich myself with relationships with people I am supposed to meet in my life because basically they are at work and me not. I just stay at home and budget the small amount that my mom gives to me to budget over a week's stretch or a month's stretch of going out to apply primarily for a job rather than just strolling around the city without any appointment to go to. It is a pretty hard life because at my age i wanted to meet people so that I could start a family later and the time I felt is now and not later. That's why I gotta make money. I guess I will not write if my dreams don't push through yet for what will I write about. I sometimes take into consideration the actions pertaining to my dreams and actually doing it and later on ponder on it when it progresses. What if you call on God and he doesn't answer back, He doesn't give you the blessings. I believe that can happen, as it happened to me for 10 or 12 years now. I know my blessings come in the form of food, clothing, shelter, magazines, books, internet, cable, and things I am able to do like study, write, go to church, have good family support and me supporting them likewise all the more. So why am I complaining? it's just that sometimes when you don't have money, you do not meet the people you are supposed to meet and how are you gonna do that? How are you gonna make your day count? How are you not gonna waste time or a day staying at home, doing nothing? It is a vicious, terrible, mind-numbing cycle and I just wish it was over. It is easy to say things such as go on and never surrender when you have what you want but when it's tough then your faith is in question? How do you make your day count when you are penniless. Pray! That's the answer. Here are my ideas so far for that problem. Go out everyday and go to mass with P150 in your pocket, do not eat anymore, just buy cheap food and drink and go home, at least you hear the word of God and you receive Communion. That's a whopping P600 a week except Wednesdays when you go to mass with your mom in Baclaran. Go to mass on Sundays! Buy newspapers everyday so you've got the feeling that you are connected with the world and you are updated, the spreadsheets which cost I think P15-18 and the tabloid P10 for my mom. Save money to buy a book. Or go out selling with an estimated P6000 for allowance but you have to have sandwiches like tuna or corned beef or hotdog or tocino, two sandwiches for baon and drink so that all you have to shell out is transpo fees estimated at P100 or a little bit more. Try to find some accounting clients. Write, offer your writing like scripts, books, children's books and romance books. Even writing jobs the ones that I have applied to, but they are unsure yet. All in all, go out everyday and find the people that you want to share your life with for the rest of your life here on earth.

Patch up negative feelings

Sometimes, you can't help but think about negative thoughts and negative feelings. But that shouldn't be so. I you feel negative about a person just ignore it and continue on your way and be happy about your life. Do things which you think are important for your well being and avoid making other people a reason for every action you do. It is not right that you go about living in this world with so much impatience, ill feelings towards others and negative thoughts. Pray for the other persons in your life that need praying and let God solve all your problems. Do some action for yourself, do what is right for yourself and never be a judge for others. God sees everything and He is in control of every little aspect in your life and so you gotta trust Him. Be intelligent enough to do what is necessary so that you will be happy. Do what God wants you to do. Personally, I think God wants me to have a job even though He made it harder for me because for ten years all I received were rejections from employers. I am mature enough to feel this way that something is missing from me because I do not engage in paid work in a day. I write for a blog so I consider that as work without pay and I also take care of my family spiritually and emotionally and physically so that also counts for my work in the vineyard. But according to world's standards, that is still unpaid work. I get my pay by the food and lodging I get from being my mother's child. But, actually, something is missing in me when I don't have a job and so even if it's hard I gotta try everyday to make something of myself so that I will have respect and the dignity of work. For others, it is easy but for me it takes a little bit harder because it takes a lot of time to apply for employment here in our country. Something's gotta happen to me and you need to have a strategy in life like a response to God's call for whatever He wants to do with my life. May God bless me always!

Patch up your loneliness

I heard a sermon from a priest while I was attending mass that no one should feel lonely because Jesus is with them. If you find yourself with a mission from Him, certainly you will not feel lonely but in fact you will feel blessed by Jesus because of the mission that He gives for you to do. Help and serve other people and love them with all your heart as you love God. This is what's most important. God wants us to do something in ourlives and He guides us to do His will always. We must find that mission that He wants for us to do. Do it lovingly. Diligently. Wisely. Intelligently. God cares for all of us and He loves us very much. He gives a lot to us even if we have problems. We should learn to solve our problems and be mature enough to face them always and as a result grow in the love of God as we grow in our lives here on earth. If we find that meaning in our lives, it is impossible to grow lonely for it is God who is the center of our lives and not some thing or some one but only God.

Lots of things, so little time

I've just signed up for two writing jobs. I hope I get accepted. But unless again they accept me, I'll be having no work. It is such a pity because I hope and get frustrated again when they don't positively respond. Anyway, nothing is sure in this world. There are so many alternatives, the only question is will they respond to you. I hope they do. Very much into real estate, forex, mutual funds, other items to sell. At least planning to do. And I sort of promised myself that I will do accounting. I am also sort of thinking into entering the sales force for insurance for bank and insurance company mergers for a salaried job. I hope I can get to do all these things and learn a lot from them. In the mean time, I have cars to buy, homes to purchase, studies to engage in to help me in my career, friends to meet, and expenses to pay for. I just hope I can manage everything and stay on top of everything and everything goel well for me. Agressiveness is very important. As well as faith and courage. And joy is important too. At the end of the day, it is always what have you done for other people? What have you done for God? And what have you done for yourself that really matters.

Abundance

I know I am enjoying this unlimited internet time, but I don't want to waste it. I remember when I have to pay P20/ hr of internet time and I don't want to waste a single centavos for not using internet when it's on even for a few minutes. Of course, sometimes you rest, and you check your e-mail more often right now, and you can write more on your blog like for hours, and y ou don't need to write down every single detail you want to remember in the websites you go to like job details. But i try to refrain from it. Cause it is still wasting internet time and I don't want to be guilty of that. So many people do not have access to the internet and so we should be wise in making use of it even if now it becomes unlimited and you can surf all you can surf just the way you wanted to. I figured out there's gotta be a way to have free and unlimited supply of food too. Maybe by owning your restaurant and be in the food business and enjoy unlimited supply of food for your own consumption. Maybe by becoming a dealer involved in the business of food you can enjoy discounts and have a hefty discount for the food that y ou buy. Or maybe have a friend who is into the food business and ask for free food. That can happen! Maybe is you have a food business then you wouldn't have to pay so much for food on the table. Just like in other items. You can get discounts if you are a dealer or you are involved in that kind of business. In insurance too or real estate, you can be an agent and at the same time a purchaser of the product and get the commission which would act as a discount to what you paid for. If you have a business of books you can have lots of books to read and you can have them all for free because you are engaged in that kind of business. Isn't that a treat for you? And if you have lots of friends, you get invited to a lot of parties and sometimes you can get free drinks and tickets to events just because you are friends with those people. I really wish to live the rich life!

As of now, I have unlimited cable tv and unlimited internet time. I wish to use them well for my sake and for work, too. So that nothing will be wasted.

I wish I could engage in sales too for free and without splurging bucks.

I am hoping that my dreams will come true soon enough and that my happiness will be complete.